“You’re so lucky!” I hear that a lot, often in discussions where things are not going well with them, the car payment is sucking all available cash; she can’t quit her job to stay home with the kids because they truly need the income. Yes, I am lucky, but in many ways, I believe that we make our own luck. We are just now starting to really enjoy the fruits of choices we made when we married nearly five years ago. We live such a rich, abundant, worry free life right now, and a lot of that is a direct result of how we lived then.
We made choices then to ensure that we would be “lucky” someday. We made sacrifices that, frankly, kind of sucked at the time. Would we rather have heated the teeny tiny apartment more than 58 degrees (required by the lease so the pipes would not freeze) and not had to get creative with the .99 cent 20 pound bag of potatoes I picked up at Safeway’s grand opening? Sure. Potatoes get old, and even with coats and our electric blanket and hot teas and hot potato soup, we were cold. Wouldn’t we have loved to go to Six Flags with our friends, out to cool restaurants with our friends, or had a car that did not make questionable noises and emit strange smells? Duh! Who wouldn’t? We did not deny ourselves these things for fun. We did them because we had goals and we wanted to achieve them on our own, without help from our parents and without consumer debt.
Our “luck” stems from what we did not do- the concerts we did not see, the trips we did not take while we were working to achieve our goals. There will be more concerts, other trips. While we obviously do not plan on waiting until retirement to do these things, we did wait until we could pay with cash, until we had a decent emergency fund in place, until we had reached other goals. Because we did not go to Six Flags in 2003, we had 60 dollars to save. 60 dollars does not seem like much, but we made enough of those 60 dollar decisions to put a decent down payment on a house three years later.
We also carefully considered what we *did* do carefully. We both picked fuel efficient cars back in the day when when gas was .99 cents a gallon. Now the guy in the gas-guzzler beside me at the gas station tells me how “lucky” we are- filling the gas guzzler costs a pretty penny at $3.25 a gallon and he’s been trying to sell it, but nobody wants it with gas the way it is. Is it luck, or is it a result of choices made? A fairy godmother certainly did not appear and turn a pumpkin into a random car, for me or for him.
Luck is not magic, given only to certain people because they are better in some way. Luck is just another name for forethought. The good news is that everybody can change their luck, even just a little bit. I am well aware that there are situations that this is incredibly difficult. I am not blind to the issues that people have, but I also think that sometimes people use their issues as an excuse to not change. “Well, I’m already in a gazillion dollars of debt; I’ll never get out of it, so why try?” So they keep living their life without trying to change, even a little bit, and then lament how unlucky they are compared to people like me.
If we lived like we would always be poor and spent money because we did not know if we would have it in the future, we certainly would not be enjoying the blessings we have now. If we accepted the idea that credit card debt was unavoidable, we’d have newer clothes and would have had fun going on day trips with our friends, but we would not have our house yet. If my husband had spent his student loans on pizza, clothes, and trips to Cancun instead of taking out only what he absolutely had to for his tuition and what bare necessities he could not pay with his part time job, we’d owe a lot more now and would have gotten the first one paid off this early. We lived like no one else five years ago, so we’re an anomaly in our age group today- living like no one else. We are still making choices today that will hopefully increase our luck tomorrow. Luck is waiting for you too- you just have to invite it in.
Other Frugal Friday tips here.
Friday, April 11, 2008
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13 frugal thoughts:
I wish the comment section came with bigger font size because I want the AMEN to be much bigger. You can pretend it is : )
Your post was tremendous and true! We take a lot of flack from people that think we are rolling in dough just because we aren't dumping hundreds of dollars down the drain each month to pay off credit card debt. Funny how it is always that people that are going to concerts, out to eat, buying new clothes and taking trips that give us this line....
Again-- really enjoyed your post!
Blessings,
Trixie
Thanks, Trixie! :)
WOW AMEN! That is so funny I was just thinking of that the other day. How ppl will say,"you are so lucky wish I could stay home with my kids!" We all make sacrifices. I get so frustrated with ppl who think we are rich because I stay home and my hubby has a good stable office job(that pays very little for all he does) but they don't know that! I wish ppl would see that we have to sacrifice the "fun" things! Not that we don't want to do them just that we choose not to for bigger goals! Thanks again for your post.
I can relate. I find it can be extended to parenting as well. People tell me I'm lucky to have such a "good" baby. . well, I did do a lot of research and taken many measures, and continue to do so, to ensure all goes as smoothly as possible. Funny how it's the worst-off that tend to point to luck. . .sad they can't take responsibility for themselves.
I get the "Wow, you're lucky!" comment all the time from people. I agree that it's all about the choices you make. Last week, I got my first real taste of the freedom frugality buys. I was invited to an interview in another city I would have to fly to. I really want to move to this city so flying out on my own dime was something I was willing to do. When I was asked to come, I was able to say "Sure, I'll be there!" without thinking about it twice, and this immediately after returning from vacation. Savings are a Good Thing! LOL
When I get this statement from people I get excited to tell them about all the ways that we save money. And then I get the weird "Ew" faces or the disinterested, "Yeah, I should do that." I guess it's what's important to you. It's important to me that we have a mostly debt free lifestyle and I get to stay home with my children. The truth is we're not lucky- we're careful with our money.
I couldn't have said it better. So I linked to it. :)
Jennifer
Adding to the Amen chorus. I hear that alot, and luck was only a small part of it as you say People wonder why we drive old cars or don't go on vacation....well, I'd like to send my kids to college and I sleep well at night thinking of what we don't owe. Thanks for a great post.
Well said! My husband and I are still in the 'sacrifice' stage, but we get this all the time when things just "happen" to work out well for us financially. So refreshing to hear someone else articulate what I've been thinking. I linked to you on my blog. Thanks!
I agree with you wholeheartedly! My husband and I have discussed this very topic several times. I'm going to be passing your article on via my website, Homemaker Barbi. Thanks a bunch, Homemaker Barbi (Danelle Ice-Simmons)
Great post! My husband works outside the home while I work at home on projects that keep me busy, but aren't making a lot of money yet though they have a lot of monetary potential and are very fulfilling regardless. Despite the fact that we did make a lot of mistakes and do have a lot of debt, we're able to do this and still chip away at the debt because we did re-examine our spending. I've also spent a lot of time researching how to think frugally.
Still, I can't count the number of times that someone has gone, "Oh, you're so lucky to have your husband take care of you." Somehow, all the talk about my work and my other contributions to the household seem to go in one ear and out the other, but that's another rant... anyhow, we can do it because we're willing to try the business-use toilet paper and use up free shampoo samples. And tonight when a friend asked how we can stand to have the house so cold (i.e., in the 60's), I told her that it's because I keep hearing pennies dropping in the piggy bank. (Of course, we will turn the heat on for guests if they want, but usually they just ask for a jacket or just suck it up.)
Wow, WE are so lucky we have discovered (or have we always known them) the finer things in life.....................
To live simply, enjoying time with loved ones, giving NOT lending to those special people in our lives & those perputually struggling whom we do not know..............
And, knowing there is cash stashed away for that proverbial rainy day!
God ALWAYS provides!
God bless you and your postings.
Very well said. You create your own "luck" by being ready to accept it when it comes along.
What matters so much in living frugally is that you have the big picture in mind. Forget about the picture that other people see for you and remembering your dreams and views is key.
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