A lot of expectation seems to be placed on women around the holidays. Who finds those perfect gifts, writes the charming cards, perfectly wraps gifts, and fills the house with the smell of fresh holiday baking? (Okay, I'm sure some man does this somewhere- but I know that most of the societal expectations of The Perfect Holiday still seems to fall on women.)
Who puts this pressure on us? Of course, watching Martha Stewart create some incredible (and expensive!) craft on TV does not help, nor does the yearly rush to get the Gotta Have gift from the overcrowded store. Maybe it's not even that. Maybe it's much smaller.
Maybe, like me, you accepted an invitation to be part of a cookie exchange a few months ago, not thinking about how hectic the Holiday Season would be by the time the cookie exchange came about.
I had great intentions! I bought extra flour and butter and had plans to make cute packaging. But then I had a horribly exhausting week, and we did a lot of things that took a remarkable amount of time (like buy a car!) and frankly, I was just worn out. Yet I was very anxious about this cookie exchange- if I did not show up with homemade cookies, what would the other women think? I was grumpily staring at a bag of flour when I realized that this is exactly why holidays are so stressful. We worry so much about what other people will think if we do not conform to what we think the holiday should look like, rather than considering what our lives actually look like at the moment. Sure, I could have planned better and made up the dough a few weeks ago to put in the freezer. I didn't. Why should I beat myself up over it?
The flour and extra butter is in the freezer. I will make some delicious homemade delicacy another day. For the cookie exchange, I got some Kroger brand pre-cut cookies for 1.88 a dozen. I decided that this would also be an awesome time to try out my Reynold's Parchment Paper. That parchment paper is wonderful- nothing stuck to the cookie pan at all! The cookies came right up. I don't make cookies often, but it seems like every time I do, I end up having to scrap up at least a few cookies off the pan. I'll have to keep an eye out for parchment paper coupons.
The cookies were well received, and the Oatmeal Cranberry ones never even made it out the door. They were all eaten before anyone left. Nobody cared that I used the pre-cut kind. The high expectation was something I was placing on myself.
What can you let go of this holiday?
6 comments:
I hear ya. Been there, and done that!! I put pressure on myself, expectations that are imagined -- but am learning to let a lot of that go.
Parchment paper is wonderful. It helps even my lousiest cookie pans turn out some decent cookies :)
All too true. I was stressing over something yesterday. I agreed to attend a particular Christmas party, but I was frustrated over what I consider a sort of entrance fee: a gift for a silly gift exchange game (I think these are a colossal waste of money), a charity gift, AND money to go with that charity gift. I finally decided I'd do what I can, and if it doesn't meet someone else's set expectations for me, so be it. But I get sick of all the expectations, whether we've placed them on ourselves or others have placed them upon us.
Of course, I'm also kicking myself right about now for deciding to make our Christmas cards this year, but at least they'll be fairly simple. If all else fails, I have a stash of leftover cards from the previous 9 or 10 years. I doubt anyone would remember receiving the same card in years past.
It seems the money-measure on your sidebar has disappeared. Is that one of your changed expectations, too? If so, too bad you guys can't do the trip--but I really admire your resolve not to break into your savings for it!
Looking back now I can see so clearly how I put all this pressure upon myself... to the point I would have panic attacks, especially around the holiday.
FINALLY, my husband got through to me and helped me realize if the cookies got baked, great. If not, it was not the end of the world.
I have less panic attacks, even though I still do get a little stressed, I remind myself, quit pressuring yourself.
We need to learn to leave time for ourselves to enjoy the holidays also. I try to only do the things that give me the most joy. If it seems like a chore, I do my best to not do it.
Glad to know it's not just me. But, there's still so much left to do- presents to wrap (and find) and da**ed cookies to bake (finally got around to making some dough).. etc.
I totally don't blame you for buying pre-made dough. I wish I'd done the same thing. I even start three months early collecting gifts just so I can relax a bit. But, who can relax??? I asked my husband if our kids would still have a Christmas if I died. He admitted that he'd probably wait until Christmas Eve but there would still be something under the tree. I think I put the pressure on myself. The neighbors don't care if I bake them cookies and nobody will die if I don't send them a Christmas newsletter, right?
So true. I think it is high time women stopped feeling like they have to do it all. It is time to let life balance out. I think it is great that you used pre-cut ones. That adds to the variety!
Post a Comment