This blog post hurt my heart.
When I was 16, I got a job as a grocery store cashier. This was before the handy slidy credit card things, back when food stamps came in actual books. The person had to tear the stamps out of the book in front of me, and I had to verify that the stamps came from that actual book. I also had to make sure that everything the bought qualified. (No hot food, no toilet paper, toothpaste, soap, tampons, no alcohol...the rules are here if you're curious!) It was a tedious and sometimes time consuming process.
I had never really been introduced to the world of food stamps. I had never heard of WIC until I had to learn how to process a WIC check. I knew that food stamps existed, but did not realize that everyday moms and dad used them. I had this idea that only uneducated poor people in the slums used them. I learned a lot about compassion for people doing that job.
I knew what welfare moms were supposed to look like from what I'd read about them and heard about them from other people.What shocked me most was not a bunch of welfare queens buying steaks and heading home in their caddy to neglect their fifty kids from different fathers. I never once saw that.
What shocked (really shocked!) me were the stunningly unkind reactions and words of the people in line behind them. People would criticize their purchases to their face, tell them to say thank you to them for buying their groceries with their taxes, say they wished that they could leech off the system too, but they had a job unlike you terrible welfare people, comment on their family size, tell them that they should have to go to the back of the line and wait since processing the stamps took too long, ask if the children all had the same father, make rude comments under their breath, and generally talk about that person as though they were not standing right there, as though they could not be heard, as though that person was less than a person.
I was not the recipient of those comments, but their words made a definite impact on me. It broke my heart to see how ashamed the food stamp people were, and how those in line behind them would humiliate then. It did not happen every time, but it did happen enough that the lesson is burned into my memory. I was 16, and had never before realized how unkind adults could be. I thought that everybody was supposed to be polite, that everybody was generally kind to strangers. That job showed me how ugly people could be to each other. Until then, I thought people eventually grew out out jerkhood. Crying, humiliated women with a cart full of welfare groceries and a pompous, arrogant mocker behind them showed me differently.
Years later, I am very aware of how easily that could be me. I have savings, I have a home, I have a husband who is employed, I have health insurance. If I lost one or two of those things, that person being shamed by strangers could just as easily be me. It could just as easily be you.
There but for the grace of God go I, indeed.
6 comments:
Those people are just sick. While I have seen the stereotype at my local grocery store, I imagine that the vast majority of people who receive food stamps are feeling low enough as it is - especially if they are unmeployed. I actually saw the "coupon game" in action for the first time last week when a woman with an EBT card brought her $200+ total down to under $30!
Beautiful post. I agree so whole heartedly. I have seen it to. Why is it in our society that we are taught to give, but never taught that it is also ok to receive?
Thank you for posting this. Too many people forget how close we are to needing help.
Very sad. :( I live in Canada and was a supermarket cashier for a number of years. While we don't have food stamps, I used to get annoyed at customers making assumptions about why the store was busier at the end of the month because that's when welfare cheques were delivered.
I do not have a car (I walk, bike or use public transit to be frugal) and am a single mom. People have made plenty of assumptions about me too. I bought a new vacuum cleaner and was accosted by a man on my way to the bus stop with my children. He told me, "Too bad you don't have ten (children). Then you'd get more money" in a nasty tone.
You have a kind heart, FHP. Thank you for your post.
Thanks for linking.
The comments made in the grocery line - OH THE COMMENTS. People are so rude, and it is terrible.
It's even worse if you look like you can afford it. My friend makes an income where she can easily afford luxury and dresses accordingly. She often stops by the store on her way home from work and uses the food stamp card. People often make inappropriate comments to her without bothering to find out that the groceries were for a housebound neighbor.
Now for something I do get nasty about - cars in handicap spaces that have no designation.
Post a Comment