Meredith asks a very interesting question at Frugal Hacks this week:
In polite company, what do you say about your tightwad ways, and what are you really thinking inside?
Since many people do not know that we are actively trying to be frugal, this comes up quite often. We find that vague answers serve us quite well. Offering an alternative is also effective. Here's a sample conversation as to what we're saying and what we're thinking:
What we're saying out loud is:
Them: "Would you like to go to Le Expensive Restaurant with us next Saturday?"
Us: "Thanks so much for inviting us! We're unavailable at that time, but we'd love to have you over on Friday for pizza and a movie/games."
That technique uses both the vague answer and the alternative technique.
What we're thinking is:
Them: "Would you like to go to Le Expensive Restaurant with us next Saturday?"
Us: "Thank you so much for inviting us! We're glad you want to spend time with us. We're unavailable to spend a month's worth of grocery money on one meal, but since we want to spend time with you, come over for homemade pizza and a free movie and/or play an el cheapo board game! It will cost 5 bucks for all of us, including entertainment!"
Usually people are amazed with our mad cooking skillzzz when we present homemade pizza. They don't have to know that the movie came from the library and the games were on yard sale special.
7 comments:
Haha! We have that exact same issue with people wanting us to eat out after church. If it's not our friends, then it's our youth group, all of whom seem to have an inexhaustible source of cash. I seriously don't know how non-working teens have so much money to throw around constantly!
I usually just say, "I wish we could, but we just can't today." Inside I'm always thinking, "We just ate out with you LAST week! Where do you think all this money is supposed to come frome?!"
I need to be better about having people over for dinner...
I went part time last year so my salary has been cut. And I'd prefer to spend what money I have on travel so I'm inviting people over for dinner more and more as an alternative to eating out.
In our group the deal is I cook the main course and provide coffee, and everyone else brings the wine, the nibbles and pudding. We have a great time and I usually end up with some excellent leftovers to eat for the rest of the week!
This is my tactful response: "I'm up for anything!! You're paying, right?"
I love your post and it gives me a good way to handle such a situation.
This is a delimma for us frugalers. Your response is so gracious, but Naomi's made me laugh.
We have lost contact with a couple friends due to this. It seemed they were always on the go spending money fist over hand. We just could not do that, so there is little contact anymore.
Here in Young and Rich Town, USA, most of our friends are engineers, computer programmers, and doctors. No one is hurting for money, but The Boy and I are the only couple out of our group of friends that don't live together, meaning that our housing/living costs are generally double that of any of our friends'. Fortunately, things tend to go in fads, and right as the Boy and I decided to start saving money, most of our friends did, too. After a recent ski trip the group wanted to go out to eat, and I said, "Why don't we cook a big vat of pasta at my house instead?" And everybody agreed, and it was great! I don't think I'll ever agree to go out to dinner again when I don't want to. I never realized I could say "no" before.
I enjoyed this so much, glad I found your blog.
I work at the library so I bring home cookbooks and movies and whatever I need every day. They think I'm a bag lady cuz I tote a big cloth bag to work full of library books, and my co-workers save the coupons from Sunday's paper for me. :)
Love your blog! Hubby & I have mad cooking skills too--much more fun and yummier than Le Expensive Restaurant! Mary t
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